It’s been an assuredly eventful couple of days. Actually I’m not even sure if it’s only days that things should be measured in.
I’ve been to a birthday party, been accused of ignoring my family, I got dumped and I dropped out of nowhere to leave a comment on an old blog. I’d throw the term friend in but who knows how the world perceives things. I’ve also been working hard on other projects and restoring an old friendship.
So should we do this in order?
Birthday wise was Shajam’s party. He turns I don’t know how old but we played guitar hero, drank beer, played singstar (And I got a green score for the first time), drank more beer, played pool, more guitar hero, some conversation and then went to sleep in the back room with Slave Girl and her hubby. (not literally with them).
A good night and it was good to get out. We all need to let the hair down and party.
Ignoring my family…… tough call. It’s a tenuos relationship, which means I normally hear from them at Xmas and get asked to come along. This time they’re doing xmas early and I was waiting to find out when I had my daughter. No point in making plans if I don’t know when I need to be here for her. I told them I didn’t have an answer yet so my uncle started SMS ing me with guilt trips about old relatives. Even though I haven’t spoken to him in going on years… So this is shaping up to be a very merry xmas indeed with them.
As it turns out I have my daughter coming in the afternoon of the day they want me to go 200km away……… so it doesn’t look good for them.
Getting dumped. Literally.
I hate the word and it’s never how things go down. I often experience more of a things not working out or a conversation that drifts, this one was a dumping. Some of you know how we hit it off some 6 weeks ago, non stop conversation, day and night. Meetings, kisses, touches, lingering looks and contact. Last friday was my work function and we had a date beforehand. I wanted to stay on, she sent me on and declared she’d be happier if I didn’t miss out on a once a year opportunity. We talked more and I arrived at the party an hour late.
Next day no contact as we both had plans. And by the time Tuesday rolled around we han’t spoken more than 5 words. I asked what was up and was advised she was tired and would call me later.
Fast forward to tonight and I send an sms asking “How is work going? How are you getting by?”
SMS Response 5 minutes later “Nothing has changed, Im working”
I replied ” Im not sure what you mean”
My phone rings, private number, I answer.
T: hello?
Her: Hi, its me..
T: Oh Hi..
Her: Look I can’t do this.
T: you can’t do what exactly.
Her: Look I just cant see you anymore, Im sorry I don’t want to hurt you, good luck with your novel.
CLICK.
What the hell?
Oh I left out the Tuesday talk, she was tired, but had spoken to her friends about me. I sounded like a fantastic guy, wonderful, but she didn’t want to risk getting hurt. I’m sorry? Not getting hurt? That’s a part of life, and you should have decided that before we spent all this time inseperable.
So there we have it, I’m a great guy, but am at risk of someone getting hurt, no explanations or insights.
And so on and so forth.
Joy.
Oh well, not much to be done about it.
Two thoughts run through my head and I’ve already picked the second one.
Everything inside of me tells me to follow it up, call, chase her, send a letter or a long email and ask whats going on. She talked about getting scared before, about running away from something that seemed great. Is that what this is? Do I pour out my heart and go over the details, re-assure her. Close it all off, or resolve it all. The romantic thing to do.
The thing my heart tells me to pursue with every fibre…….
Or I do what everyone else expects. Smile and nod and just never speak to or hear from her again. No other goodbyes, nothing more.
So do you do what’s right or do you follow your heart?
I’ve copped flack, faced hurdles and excessively complicated my own life from being a hopeless romantic. Had my heart broken and torn and I keep on trucking.
So unless the women of the world think it would make a difference to write….. I’ll let it slide.
(Making a difference doesn’t need to mean us continuing to date. It could mean making her feel better. After all, I won’t. I already hurt. If I can limit the number of people who do…. all the better).
It’s late and I should be going to sleep.
Todays list. Saw it coming or not.
Break up? Didn’t see it.
Beowulf? Seen it.
Thank you email for a blog comment? Didn’t see it.
