My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you
This fire rising through my being
Burning I’m not used to seeing you
I’m alive, I’m alive
I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I’m breathing
Holding on to what I’m feeling
Savouring this heart that’s healing
Edit: If you came here looking for these lyrics, the song is called “Around me” and is by flyleaf. It was written about god apparently.
Last post for the year. It would have been the one from two days ago, but I’ve been in bed for 2 hours and unable to sleep so I have ended up here again. Here’s to waking up tomorrow to go and meet everyone. Actually here’s to the torrential flood I can hear being a figment of my imagination. Even though i can barely hear the music over the downpour outside.
Another year draws to a close, and it’s been a busy one. Moments of sadness and happiness. And apparently a tumultous one for my heart. I fell for, I had crushes, I had my heart broken and I fell in love, and I lost. I became redundant, got another job within the company, changed jobs again, got a payrise and I moved out on my own for the first time. I ate meals I’d never eaten before, I worked on my relationship with my father and I became incredibly poor. I received a gift of an exorbitant sum of money and my goldfish died. I forged new friendships and lost some of the closest people in my life. I kept 3 blogs and redesigned my website 5 times. I stayed in 6 hotels and became less than sober 7 times. I went to Sea World once and the sunshine coast once. I flooded one bathroom with bubbles (don’t put them in a spa) and one with steam. I bought two sets of pajamas for other people and saw a lunar eclipse for the first time. I went to the glasshouse mountains and I lost my grandfather. I took just over 9000 photos and went out on 58 photo shoots. I bought a lounge suite, and Xbox 360 and Guitar Hero. I bought over 50 DVD’s and 8 seasons of TV shows. I finished more than 19 books. I gave up sugary drinks and started Pepsi Max. I gave up Pepsi Max and started low sugar cordial and lots of water. I found 3 umbrellas on trains, and $5 on a bus. I bought 3 posters for my wall and one clock. I had 6 flights and won two awards. I have had one performance review and 4 bosses. I have added almost 10,000 words to my novel in progress and built 9 websites. I have posted on 23 forums and registered for 87 websites who wanted my email address. I have downloaded more than 350Gb of data and been on more than 300 train trips. I have fallen in love exactly once. I have falsely talked myself into thinking I cared about someone exactly once. I have moved house exactly twice. I have owned 5 different mobile phones and two computers. I have given 3 speeches and been invited to talk at Tafe once.
It has been an exciting year, as each one is. The passage of time accelerating as I get older. This is my 28th year and each holds more than those before, I have accomplished so much in the last few years and there is more to come.
I’m going to take a break from the blog I’ve been maintaining so carefully. I just need a little time away from the screen and the glare. Some more sun, some more air, just a little time off. I’ll still receive and reply to comments and I should be back within a week or so. Sleeping habits to be straightened out.
To all of you who read, thank you. To all of those who comment or call/sms/email me when you think something is up, or when something is, I do appreciate it.
I have had some questions about “the girl” and the comments left here. In fact with one person there was an argument.
Let me be very clear. My feelings for her were not reciprocated as she posted here, she also was under no obligation to respond to my feelings or hurt in any way. Her response was not harsh, unnecesary or brash. It was genuine and heartfelt. She admitted her own confusion and pain caused by me, and the circumstances regarding difficulties faced. I appreciated and accepted it.
Happy New Year.
Daryl: My brother, it wouldn’t have been the year it was without you. Here’s to a bigger one next year. And I won’t be there to bail you out, but I’ll sit beside you in the cell.
Dan: Brother? Maybe. Something more than just friends, we’ve understood one another, ignored one anothers faults and had conversations that just connect. Thank you.
MB: Or whatever name is being gone by right now. You are more special than you know. But you have taught me a lot and I do value the time we spent together, on every level. Rocky roads are often the right ones, even if you don’t know where it leads. Good luck with your future endeavours and safe trip. X
Dave: Sometimes distant, sometimes in contact. It is a genuine friendship and we’ve shared some fun times. God luck with everything, despite the clashes and problems you have always been there exactly when needed, and I would not have made it through this year without you there.
Dix: You’ve entertained me, made me smile and said a few small words at some times they were needed. Thinking of you. Click.
And so many other people(maybe some double ups). The faces, the smiles, the conflicts, the people who made the year what it was for me. DW, D, CF, HR, NH, KU, EA, NC.
Good night, Happy New year.
Blog post just before midnight: Didn’t see it coming.
